we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
