At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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