I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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