Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
