Only a mothe r could love this liver
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
lol hangovers are for mortals.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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