please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
