let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
