Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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