Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
