i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
