"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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