Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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