I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
