i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
And then he peed in my hair
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