i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
