Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
