...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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