Screwed.edu
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you would pick up someone in the library
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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