Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
