so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
