I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
