so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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