I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
