Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
