you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
