if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
