Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
