You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we're making bets on your personal life
they're like a gay fantastic four
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
