HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
