Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
