allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
