he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
