she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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