Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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