I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
