I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I believe in your delicious
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
