i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
