He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
