another moral hangover. fuck.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
