You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
