After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
