You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
