I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
