I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
