so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
