There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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