you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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