was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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