am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
