everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
