I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
