Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
