He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
