He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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