Are we in a gay sports bar?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
