i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
