he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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