addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
