Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
