i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
