His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
