I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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