I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize