Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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