its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I am one with the molecules
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
