with your own penis?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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